Arwen's Choice
by Miss Sofie
Summary: COMPLETE! Arwen has to choose between a man and an elf, who both love her. It's not easy, and her decision may be fatal.


A/N: This is just a little something I wrote, which turned out quite differently from what I first had in mind. I'm no good at LOTR fics, and I'm still working on the other one, trying to re-write it in order to make it better than my first attempt. I have _not_ abandoned that one nor 'A Total Nightmare', though I decided to write this little thing.

Anyway, moving on to the disclaimer: I don't own anything. JRR Tolkien does. And New Line Cinema.

Read and review, please!

- Miss Sofie

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**Arwen's**** Choice**

Arwen stood still like the oak she hid behind. Her eyes watched the small party of elves riding through the forest, and her ears told her that they did not feel merry. They were silent as the grave, and it could only mean that their business here was not of the entertaining kind. They had not yet seen her, and she did not intend to let them.

As they came closer Arwen heard the one in front whisper to the one who came next.

"Rúmil, someone's watching us. Keep a keen eye."

A pain shot through Arwen as she recognized the voice as Haldir's. Her heart still bled for him, though she had not seen him for years and knew nothing of his situation now.

She was also pained by the memories that came back to her. She had not seen Aragorn for almost ten years, and she had believed him to be dead. Haldir had come to her father's house, and he had been lonely and in need of comfort. She had given it to him, though not without thinking about Aragorn – her first love. Haldir had left her father's house again, as he had never been supposed to stay as long as he had already done. He had only staid because of Arwen, and she had had to admit that it grieved her to see him go.

She had grieved for a long time over the loss of two people she had loved, but her father had kept her from going away with Haldir. He was a worrier, and Elrond did not want his daughter to suffer even more, if he were to be slain, and so he reasoned with her and in the end made her stay.

After a few months Aragorn had come back, and though feeling bad because she still loved two men – or one man and one elf – she had, of course, been thrilled and very, very happy to find out that Aragorn was still alive and doing good.

He had had to leave again because of the war against Sauron, and once again she feared that he had been taken away from her for good.

And now Haldir showed up again!

Arwen leaned her back against the big oak and rested her head on its trunk. She sighed and closed her eyes for a very short while, the thoughts running wild inside her head. When she opened her eyes again, Haldir was standing in front of her. He had abandoned his horse and his brothers for the moment, and he was looking sadder than ever.

"No, don't give me that look!" Arwen whispered wanting to put her arms around him and kiss him like she had kissed Aragorn recently.

"I can't help it." Haldir replied in a whisper as well. "My looks only express how I feel inside. They always have."

"I know." Arwen replied almost giving in. She made an effort and gathered her strength inside. "My father will want to see you. I'm sure you're hungry and tired after your journey. Come with me!"

Elrond _did_ want to see Haldir and his brothers. In fact, Arwen thought that he looked rather happy to see them. A happiness she did not understand, considering the fact that the last time Haldir visited, her father had wanted him as far away as possible as quickly as possible. He seemed to have changed his mind quite a lot since then.

They had a feast that night because of their guests from Lothlorien, but Arwen didn't feel like participating. She only did because she knew her father wanted her to, but after a while she withdrew to her chamber to try to get some sleep.

It didn't take long for Haldir to find her, though, and a shiver ran through her body as she heard him call her name from outside.

"I'm right here." Arwen said letting him know that he was allowed to enter. She sat up with her back against the wall, her blanket drawn up to cover everything but her head. The night was very mild, but she felt a little cold anyway.

"You don't seem happy to see me." Haldir said at the sight of the elleth who had huddled in the corner.

"I _am_ happy to see that you're still alive and doing good." Arwen said not looking at the fair elf in front of her. His hair was silvery and straight, her own was dark and slightly curly, but that was just one of the differences between them which didn't mean much.

"That's not what I meant." Haldir said with an intense look at Arwen. She couldn't avoid his eyes anymore and she noticed that the warmth that she had once known in them had come back. It made her feel a little warmer herself.

He moved closer and reached out his hand to her and made her heart do a little somersault. She took his hand and let him help her to her feet, though she didn't need the help. It made the two of them stand quite close, and Arwen did her best to resist kissing him. It was hard, though he did nothing to put pressure on her. All he did was being present, but it was a presence that Arwen had longed for ever since he left her.

After a while like this Haldir took Arwen's face in his hands and placed a soft kiss on her lips. The elleth closed her eyes and felt the adrenaline rush to all parts of her body. Then she responded to the kiss, placing her right hand on the back of his neck and letting go of her emotions. For a while she felt nothing but the pleasure of two elves being one, but then Aragorn's face popped up in her mind.

"Elessar!" She whispered between kisses, and Haldir's body tensed in a split second. He let go of her and backed away a bit.

"Please don't be angry with me, Haldir!" Arwen pleaded as she realized her mistake. She could not loose him again.

"I am not angry with you, Arwen, but I cannot take you away from Aragorn. It is not in my power to do so. I realize that now."

"But I think you already have!" Arwen cried, but the elf was already halfway through the door again.

"Let me know when you're sure about it." Haldir said right before he disappeared from sight.

Arwen flung herself onto her bed and cried. She cried for herself, she cried for Haldir, but most of all did she cry for Aragorn. Her decision would not be easy for him.

---

When the sunlight came with the morning it boded a very fine day. Elrond came to wake her daughter, as she had slept long. She usually didn't, and he wanted to see if everything was alright. He knew that something had happened between her and Haldir the previous night, as the elf had come out of her chamber with grief in his face. He had walked into the forest and had only just come back. Elrond feared that his daughter was feeling the same way, and the worst thing he knew was to see her hurt. She was the one person in the world who meant the most to him, and though his decisions may sometimes have seemed unfair to her, he had only done what he thought would protect her from harm. He realized now that maybe he should've let her go to Lothlorien to marry Haldir so many years ago. It would've prevented her from the pain she now felt.

Elrond was surprised to find his daughter in her bed, but already in her clothes, as he entered her chamber.

"Have you been up?" He asked with a puzzled frown. He sure hadn't seen her at all this morning.

"I haven't been to bed yet." Arwen replied turning her face away to hide her tears. Elrond knew her well enough to know that she was crying, anyway.

"But Arwen, I thought Haldir's return would make you happy."

"It did. For a short while. But Elessar…"

"You can't choose?"

Arwen nodded silently. The tears were streaming down her cheeks as she turned to face her father again. "I thought I had, but now I don't know. I love both of them! Tell me what to do, Father!"

"I can't decide for you, Arwen." Elrond sighed. "I've made mistakes concerning you before. I can't make another one for you."

"But you used to reason with me whenever there was something I couldn't choose!"

"You can't reason with love, but you _can_ follow your heart!"

"How can I follow my heart when it is torn in two, going their separate ways?"

"At this very moment they are going the same way. Haldir will be setting out to help Aragorn and the Rohirrim at Helm's Deep. Tell Haldir that you love him, Arwen, otherwise he will go and get himself killed!"

"Are you asking me to choose Haldir? The one you told me not to follow into Lothlorien when he asked me to?"

"I'm asking you to encourage him. But would it be a lie to say that you love him?"

Arwen looked down for a while. Then she lifted her gaze to meet her father's again. "No, but it would be a lie to say that I love him and no one else."

"You know, there _is_ another way out…"

"Which one?"

"Come with me to Gray Havens. You have no future here. Neither with Aragorn nor with Haldir. And, maybe, in time Haldir will follow. Aragorn never will. His place is here in Middle-Earth. Ours isn't anymore."

"Don't ask that of me, Father!" Arwen said, another series of tears welling up in her eyes. "You cannot ask me to leave them behind!"

"I was afraid that would be your decision." Elrond sighed. "But as long as you keep loving both of them, your wounds will never heal. You will wither and fade away, watching them fighting while you fight with yourself. It will never stop, Arwen! Not in Middle-Earth!"

"I do not want to believe you!" Arwen said wiping away the tears. A plan was forming in her mind, and she had no time to waste. Haldir would soon be gone, and then it would be too late.

Arwen put on the hood of the blue cloak she was wearing and sneaked in next to the elf in the back of the row. The worriors from both Rivendell and Lothlorien had been gathered to go to war against Sauron. They were to fight alongside men again, something they had not done for millenniums. Arwen knew she had to come to find out, if she loved the elf or the man the most. She hadn't told Haldir she loved him, though she had wanted to. She couldn't tell him before she had seen Aragorn. She hoped that she would be able to choose when she saw the two of them together. Right now, though, she had to be careful not to be seen by Haldir. He would send her back home right away, if he found out she had come, and if he did so, she knew her father would make her journey to Gray Haven with the rest of the elves who still dwelt in Rivendell.

Arwen was skilled in hiding and keeping quiet at the right moments, and so Haldir did not notice her presence before they reached Helm's Deep.

She watched from behind as he talked to the King of Rohan, Théoden. Then – Arwen's heart made another somersault – Aragorn came running to welcome Haldir. She could not hear the words, but he looked very happy to see the elf. He even hugged him, but Haldir seemed to find it a very awkward situation. Arwen knew why. Aragorn didn't.

Again she felt bad for what she had done. Aragorn was the best man she knew. He had not deserved what she had done to him. But Haldir was the best elf she knew, and he did not deserve to be let down again, either. She knew now that he had suffered as much by being parted from her, as she had suffered by being parted from both him and Aragorn.

Her decision didn't seem closer at hand just by seeing the two of them together.

"Arwen?!" Aragorn suddenly exclaimed looking at the elleth in the back row. Oh no! She hadn't been careful enough while watching the ones she loved, and Aragorn's eyes would recognize her among a million elves. She should've known.

"Arwen?" Haldir said and turned around slowly. The two pairs of eyes which were looking at her were both sad and happy at the same time. Then Aragorn ran to her side, his eyes gleaming with happiness, until he told her it was too dangerous for her to be here.

"I had to come." She replied watching Haldir's reaction while she spoke to Aragorn. "I had to see you."

It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't meant the way Aragorn thought, either. With one look at Haldir she knew that he, too, interpreted it the same way that Aragorn did. The hurt in his eyes could not be misunderstood. He thought he had lost.

Fear filled Arwen's mind and body. She had made a mistake. A big mistake. She should've just told him she loved him – just like her father had asked her to. It would've made him fight to see her again. It would've made him want to survive the war. Now all hope left his eyes in a split second.

"The uruk-hais are approaching!" Someone yelled and a horn was heard in the distance.

There was no time for Arwen to explain, and Aragorn told her to hide with the women and children.

"No! I want to fight!" She exclaimed with a look at Haldir, then one at Aragorn. "I want to fight alongside you!" With 'you' she meant both Aragorn and Haldir.

"Arwen, please!" Aragorn said and she decided to pretend she went to the keep. There was no need for him to fear for her safety while he was fighting.

She made a detour to avoid being seen when she joined the elves, readying her bow to shoot some orcs. She wanted to join Haldir, but that wouldn't be any better than joining Aragorn. He, too, would fear for her safety.

She watched how the two of them talked right before the orcs began their assault. Then Aragorn ran on to talk to Legolas, probably giving orders all around. Though Arwen knew it must hurt Haldir to be given orders by Aragorn, he didn't show it. Only the ones who knew him best would've noticed the hurt in his eyes, but Arwen did her best not to look at him, so no one noticed.

As the worst night in Arwen's long life was about to begin, she had no time to think more about it. She could only hope that both of her loved ones would still be alive once the morning came.

---

Arwen was tired – very tired – but she kept fighting. She had been close to being slain once, but then Gimli, the dwarf, had swung his sword above her head and cut off the head of the orc attacking her. She had let out a scream, but she was glad to see that neither Haldir nor Aragorn heard her.

She wiped the sweat off of her forehead with the back of her hand before raising her sword to pierce through another orc.

"Haldiiiiiiiiiir!" She heard Aragorn's voice tear the air. She looked up and saw the two of them signaling to each other. They were retreating to the keep.

Arwen turned around to run back, but it was too late. An orc sword pierced her front, and the pain that hit her was stronger than anyone she had ever felt before.

"Arweeeen!" She heard Haldir's voice scream, and she saw the elf come running to her, though everything seemed to go in slow-motion. She fell to her knees and felt another pain strike her. This time in the back. She felt cold. Deadly cold.

Then someone held her in his arms. It was Aragorn. He was crying her name, while Haldir sat down taking her hand.

The two people who shared a love for the same elleth cried together, both feeling they were losing everything they had ever had. Aragorn believed she had loved him and no one else, and Haldir believed her squeezing his hand right before she lay still meant that she loved him.

She wanted him to believe so. It was all she could do to comfort him, as she knew she would never be able to choose him now. She wouldn't be able to choose anyone or anything now. Not even life.

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A/N: Hope you liked it. I just can't kill Haldir. Sorry, but I can't! That's why it turned out this way. Please review!


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